We did it. After months of caffeine, righteous indignation, and a few meltdowns over JSON-LD commas, Cancel Network is officially open for business.

Picture this: you’re standing in the grocery aisle, staring at a wall of yogurt, wondering if your breakfast is secretly funding a pride parade in Portland. Or you’re about to book a hotel and you just want a bed, not a lecture on pronouns or the climate. We built Cancel Network for exactly those moments. Know instantly if the company is knee-deep in DEI, ESG, BLM, or the latest flavor of corporate wokeness. We also provide non-woke alternatives that don’t treat your wallet like a political donation box.

We’re beyond pumped (borderline caffeinated-squirrel levels of pumped) to finally flip the switch.

What’s ready right now?

• Hundreds of woke companies exposed across 10+ categories
• Growing list of non-woke alternatives you can actually feel good about supporting
• Evidence pages with receipts (because “trust me bro” isn’t a citation)
• A ridiculously over-the-top satirical intro video that we’re not sorry about at all (watch it, laugh, share it with your group chat)

What’s coming next (because we launched like a raccoon on Red Bull):

• Sub-categories so you can drill down faster than a woke HR manager finds a microaggression
• New ways to browse (think: one-click “show me only the brands that won’t lecture me about my carbon footprint”)
• More savage cartoons roasting the cringe left (our artist already has carpal tunnel from drawing rainbow-haired corporate mascots)

And yes… because we were so excited to get this out the door, there are a few broken links and weird buttons hiding like Easter eggs. We’re squashing them faster than you can say “preferred pronouns.” If you spot something wonky, just laugh, and know it’ll be fixed in the next 48 hours.

Want to stay in the loop and watch the chaos unfold in real time? Follow us on Twitter/X, Truth Social, TikTok, and YouTube. You can find the links in the footer (or just scroll down, you magnificent rebel).

Thanks for showing up on day one. Let’s go cancel the cancellers… or at the very least, cancel their revenue stream.

Thank you,
The (slightly unhinged but very proud) Cancel Network team

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